Selfie Skills

Welcome to an accurate depiction of my brain today.

When last we spoke, people were arguing on the internet and I was cooking things with squash.

Not much has changed.

I’ve been eating butternut squash crème brulee for days.

Add chocolate chips for a yummy combo.

I was so excited a couple weeks ago to find my ramekins, as most of my kitchen gear is in storage. While rummaging through my storage unit (I was dropping off a couple things), I noticed a box marked, “12,000 crème brulee cups”. The number is only a slight exaggeration. My original inspiration for learning to make crème brulee and acquiring said ramekins was this scene.

While the butternut version is delightful and tastes like a light, creamy, fluffy pumpkin pie – it tastes like fall – the perfect crème brulee is, in fact, dark chocolate. For a buckeye flair, sprinkle peanut butter chips on top.

Speaking of Buckeyes … Big Ten football kicks off pandemically late this coming Saturday, October 24. (Ohio State hosts Nebraska at noon on Fox.) Spectators are not allowed, but for anyone who wants to “be in the stadium”, you can upload a selfie and order your fan cutout here.

Because I was in the right place on the interwebs at the right time and was one of the first to share a link about the cutouts on social media … I won a free one! I. Am. A. Winner! I will be in the stadium this weekend! And yes, I paid extra to have a copy shipped to me.

I needed to beat the noon Monday deadline in order to make it to the home opener, so I was in the front yard Sunday taking selfies. Which is a funny story, because I really, really, really didn’t feel like taking selfies anyone would see.

Backing up to Saturday, that pesky tendonitis I’ve been fighting was better enough that I went for a three-mile walk, my first such exercise in two weeks. I figured it was wise to ice that hip afterward, so I did just that on and off all evening.

Eventually it was approaching 1am, so I thought I really, really, really should get off the couch and head for bed. I stood up – successfully … you know, like a winner. When I turned and tried to walk, the big toe of one foot got tangled up with the opposite leg of my pajama pants … and … wheeeeee! Kersplat. Let’s just say I tried to break the armrest of the couch with my face.

After locating everything I dropped and the glasses that flew off my face – and assessing that an emergency room visit was not required – I headed straight for bed with the ice pack I originally intended to put back in the freezer. Shockingly, I did not wake up with a black eye, but I do have a colorful bruise on my cheek. And I’m a little more swollen than usual. And then there’s pain. It’s improving, but it hurts to smile. And, of course, smiling’s my favorite!

So Sunday … putting on makeup and trying to take a selfie that didn’t make me look like the elephant man wasn’t something I was excited to do, but I did it anyway. Guess how many selfies I took before settling on one. Go ahead, guess. Seriously, whoever comes closest wins my undying admiration and maybe I’ll send you something cool in the snail mail. Comment on this post on my website with your guess, or if you’re one of the cool kids who subscribed to get updates via email, just reply to this email.

Until next time … more squash awaits me …

The recipe said to cut the acorn squash “on the equator”. They’re like cute little flowers.
Acorn squash soup. So good.
Blackberry coffee cake. Dangerously good.
RIP 1980s wallpaper. It’s somewhere in the dumpster.
I looked up at this glitter water lantern on the table, and all I could think of was “snowman butt”. You’re welcome.
Do you think they preach prosperity gospel there?
The shadow knows.

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