Some of my faith in humanity was restored this week. A nice lady told me to go in front of her at the self-checkout at Wally World. I had two items and she had half a cart full. We had a lovely conversation while I scanned my things and went on my way.
Later that day a friend shared a truth they were reminded of. I’ve been ruminating on it since.
We can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.
We can be so sure we know what someone needs or what they should do. Sometimes we’re flat out wrong, of course, but even when we’re right … sometimes our help is unwelcome.
Recall Jesus’ instructions as he sent out his disciples.
If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. ~Matthew 10:14
I mean, who doesn’t need the gospel? Everyone needs the good news, right? I like how The Message translation puts it.
When you knock on a door, be courteous in your greeting. If they welcome you, be gentle in your conversation. If they don’t welcome you, quietly withdraw. Don’t make a scene. Shrug your shoulders and be on your way. You can be sure that on Judgment Day they’ll be mighty sorry—but it’s no concern of yours now. ~Matthew 10:13-15 (MSG)
That can be a hard pill to swallow. Who doesn’t want to be listened to? Who doesn’t want to be respected for their knowledge and expertise? Whether that knowledge is the good news of the gospel or something else.
And if it’s a loved one who refuses to listen? That can be extra difficult to accept. You’re just trying to help, right?
But some people don’t want to be helped.
I’m reminded of the sick man by the pool at Bethesda. Jesus asked him if he wanted to be healed.
Soon another Feast came around and Jesus was back in Jerusalem. Near the Sheep Gate in Jerusalem there was a pool, in Hebrew called Bethesda, with five alcoves. Hundreds of sick people—blind, crippled, paralyzed—were in these alcoves. One man had been an invalid there for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him stretched out by the pool and knew how long he had been there, he said, “Do you want to get well?” ~John 5:1-6
We read that passage and think, “What an odd question. Who doesn’t want to be healed?”
But some, when it comes down to it, don’t want to be.
They may be afraid of change in some way. Healing = good. Increased responsibilities and expectations that might come with healing = scary.
They may resist changing their mind on an issue lest they appear unintelligent. Has anyone seen people doubling down on their positions in the last couple of years, even in the face of new or changing information?
I do think it’s healthy to ask ourselves if we want to be healed. Of whatever it is we’re struggling with or stressing about.
Do I want to be healed and face whatever change might come with it, or do I just want to complain?
Do I want to be healed or do I want to be right?
Do I want to be healed or do I want to look smart?
Do I want to be healed or do I want to win?
Do I want to be healed or do I just not want to change?
I don’t know that any of those things are mutually exclusive. Who knows.
Honestly, even when I know the things … I know nothing.
