A coworker once shared with me what she called the Louisiana philosophy regarding members of the animal kingdom, particularly as seen on the road.
If it’s dead, eat it. If it’s moving, try to kill it and eat it.
I’ve been thinking about that, um, wisdom? Not because I’ve had a sudden urge to become less of an “almost vegetarian”. It’s just that I’ve been doing quite a bit of late-night driving and it’s springtime in Ohio.
The other night I arrived home to find a fairly large toad parked in front of the garage door. By the time I made several trips into the house to unload the things, Mr. Toad had hopped inside a foot or two. I used a snow shovel to relocate him back to the driveway, then ran to hit the overhead door button. I swear I heard him hit the closed door a few second later, still trying to come inside.
The same night as I put away the things in the kitchen, I was greeted by a stink bug on the scratcher pad by the sink.
Well that’s getting sanitized in the dishwasher.
Later in the hallway I checked the thermostat, as it felt like we were overachieving on the air conditioning. Indeed it was not just me. As I reached to notch it up a degree or two, holy cow there’s a yellow or maybe albino spider on the dial.
I slayed it and moved on.
Coming to a concert venue near you … Albino Spiders.
A day or two later, I encountered not a five-pound possum but a raccoon in my headlights. It was making a beeline for somebody’s garbage I guess, so no Daniel Boone coonskin caps were created. Continuing on to home, as I turned into the driveway, there she was … doe, a deer, a female deer.
Last night, errr this morning, I encountered just one groundhog carcass. I managed to keep it between the navigational beacons.
If it’s not random vermin in the road coming after you … just wait, there’s monkeypox on its way apparently … and that killer in your pantry, recalled peanut butter.
Stay safe, friends.
