Math – Jennifer Grashel

It’s not necessarily my favorite subject, but I did win a trophy in a county math competition in sixth grade. Number one in fractions.

I’ll pause for admiration and applause.

I don’t know about math, but let’s talk penmanship.

Recently I attended a workshop on “Giving Strategies for Non-Cash Assets”.

I know, I know. Sounds fascinating.

The night before, I checked in with a friend who had requested prayer for a thing, asking what time. Said thing turned out to be the same time as the workshop.

So I did math and finance with the left side of my brain while praying silently with the right side.

Do not try this at home.

Or maybe do try it.

I did math and finance with the left side of my brain while praying silently with the right side. Do not try this at home. Or maybe do try it. ~ Jennifer Grashel Share on X

I really did geek out over the workshop material. (Also my friend’s situation worked out great.) I had an inkling of the general idea from past conversations with my nonprofit friends responsible for the seminar, but I wanted to do a deeper dive. I’m happy to share the five minute version and connect anyone interested to more resources. If that happens over coffee or food, even better.

Today apparently I need to employ my multitasking brain talents again. Most of my writing work (and anything else on a computer) takes place in coffeeshops with wifi. Nearly every day I find my personal zen violated by loud, noisy, inconsiderate fellow patrons. Normal level conversations, small children too young to know better, and similar situations get a free pass.

However.

My people.

Please have some level of self-awareness about whether your voice is one that naturally projects and carries.

Please use your inside voice when you’re inside.

When in public – including a coffeeshop or restaurant – there are some rules of etiquette the majority of the population appears to have missed. I am here to educate you and save you from making any further faux pas.

If you must be on the phone, keep it brief and keep your voice down. Preferably step outside or save it for later, but I understand that may not always be possible. Whatever you do, absolutely positively do not put the phone on speaker. Read that last sentence again. Learn it. Heed it. Live it. No speakerphone conversations in public.

Keep your phone on vibrate. No one wants to hear your ringtone or email notification ping fifty thousand times an hour.

For the love of all that is holy, never play videos on your device with the sound up and no earbuds. Never never never never ever. Save it for another place and time.

But Jenn, I didn’t have my earbuds with me

Don’t.

Care.

Get off the crack, I mean smartphone. The cat videos can wait until later, dear heart.

Never do a video chat without earbuds. Seriously, I had to endure a tutoring session via Skype in my vicinity within the last week.

If you are choosing a table in an uncrowded establishment and you spot someone alone with a laptop and earbuds – i.e. it looks like they might be working – consider sitting far enough away that you won’t disturb them. Especially if you are dining with friends/family, having a business meeting with colleagues, or need to be on the phone. Those earbuds are not going to block out all your boisterousness.

Face blurred to protect the guilty. They seemed nice, but they were loud.

I do keep earbuds with me. I do put them in to block out noise and help me concentrate. There are some instrumental go-tos on my phone since the aim is to escape all words except the ones I’m writing. Mozart Symphonies #39 and #41 pretty much elicit a Pavlovian response from me now.

I have lost count of how many times the earbuds weren’t enough to cover the noise of someone who sat down near me when they didn’t have to. Am I that beautiful and do I smell that good? I need to up my intimidation game.

Jesus was asked by a Pharisee what the greatest commandment was. His response summed up the entire law in a few words, covering the greatest and, for good measure, second greatest commandments.

Love God and love people.

That’s the paraphrase anyway. Jenn’s Paraphrase translates it as this:

Don’t be a jerk.

I’ve been collecting notes for a future book, working title “Step Away from My Table! Tales from the Coffeeshop.” You may find relevant hashtags on my Twitter, with heavy use of #blessyourheart.

Yes, I did live in the South long enough to appropriate that phrase.

Until next time, friends, keep looking up. And don’t be a jerk.